On the early morning of September 15th, 2015 everything changed. I lost my father to Pancreatic Cancer in the time span of one week and I wasn’t prepared to deal with the reality of what had just happened. My mind was full of regrets and things I wish I could have done to prevent his death. The feeling of powerlessness overcame me. Although I knew that he sincerely appreciated all of our time together, especially during his last days in the hospital, I couldn’t help but think that I should have and could have done more. There were many plans I’d made “in my head” to travel with my father and enjoy our lives fully once my life became more stable. But that moment never came.
The experience and devastation of losing my father inspired me to appreciate the value in every single day even more than I did before. I used to have a tendency to postpone the things I wanted to do but now I do my best to make every single moment count. I wear the same watch on my wrist every day and it only says one thing. Every time I attempt to find out the time by looking at this watch, it tells me that the time is “now.” This is just one of my many simple daily reminders to be mindful and present. I stopped second guessing myself and started “going with the flow” more. I have transformed my life from being filled with regrets and excuses to now creating memorable experiences in every moment possible.
In every place I travel to, there’s a piece of my father with me. I just wish he was still physically here to enjoy it beside me. I keep going for this reason. I used to always count on the future and what I would do once I made the money I desired but that future never came. So now I live my life like there’s no tomorrow! But if and when tomorrow comes, I get to do it all over again! I will always do my best to count my blessings and be a blessing to those I come in contact with.